So, the side conversation that got started the other day by my threat to possibly join crazy cat lady-dom got me to thinking about the cause of crazy cat lady syndrome.
Before I go into the cause and my theory about crazy cat lady syndrome, I thought it best to get a working definition on the disorder. So, here’s what I have come up with… crazy cat lady = a female (of any age, although typically in the latter years of her life) who keeps more cats than is considered normal and dotes upon them with lavish attention, food, toys and accommodations.
One point to clarify is what number is considered more than normal. For a cat adverse person, one cat would be more than normal. In a small apartment or home more than three may seem excessive. I think to keep this from having too broad of an impact we will define the number considered normal as less than five. Hopefully this doesn’t seem to any a completely arbitrary number. I can certainly see arguments for having three cats in a house, to serve as rodent control. According to the 2007 US Pet Ownership & Demographics Sourcebook the average number of cats for a cat owning household is 2.2. Because any portion of cat over two would need to be rounded up to three of course. Trying to give some latitude between the average and where a crazy label is applied I arrived at five as being the number of cats where crazy cat lady begins.
On to my theory of why crazy cat ladies happen. I’ll just lay it out. It is my insight that they are the women who would be horse crazy if circumstances in their life allowed them to own horses. It is a widely known fact that all horse people are crazy. So imagine if that tendency was never allowed to express itself fully through horse ownership and instead was subverted to another species.
The data on the AVMA website from the 2007 US Pet Ownership & Demographic Sourcebook supports this theory. Notice that although the number of households owning cats, birds or horses are fewer respectively than those households with dogs, the average number owned increases. With the largest average number being horses at an average of 3.5 per horse owning household.
Please also note that the average number of birds owned per bird owning household is 2.5. Again since one in real life can not have 0.5 of a bird, that would bring that number to three. (It is however possible to have 0.5 of a bee.) I am just sure Chickens are included in this average of birds.
The average cat weighs about 10 pounds. The average horse weighs in at 1000 pounds. Per weight it takes a lot of cats to make up for just one horse. Chickens on average weigh less than cats, requiring even more chickens to equal one horse.
In the interest of doing real actual authentic and meaningful ScienceTM it will be important to collect and collate information, representative samples and other data. Please help me in this research. If you have supportive information please share it in the comment section. If your information is likely to skew my data, kindly keep it to yourself. This is for ScienceTM after all.
Although this is at this point only a theory, please if you know someone inclined to be horse crazy, that is unable to experience horse ownership, help them realize their crazy dream. Otherwise, they are likely to end up as the crazy cat lady.
Please note that a large part of the inspiration for this theory comes from my own tendencies. While I only have two cats at the moment there are 15 horses and nearly 30 chickens that I care for on this place. Imagine how many cats I would have if it weren’t for the horses and chickens!
March 26, 2012 at 2:53 am
HA ! I can totally relate. I live in a very small house (800 square feet), but yet have 1 ADD suffering German Shepherd and 3 cats. Indoor cats mind you, that makes a difference too. I considered my self to be horse crazy but unable to sate my craving as it were. Plus I got a little scared of them but you know that is a whole different topic on the joys of owning Arabs with not so bright owners, maybe you will touch that in a future blog lol. I still think I would still have lots of cats if I had horses as well, just would probably have won the lottery if that were the case tho.
March 28, 2012 at 4:01 am
See, you prove my theory. Your dog is actually somewhat catlike, and being as large as he is counts as multiple cats. With being currently horse deprived, plus the three cats already, yeah, you definitely are proof.
March 26, 2012 at 3:09 am
With 1cat & 1dog I now realize thru your ‘science’ that I am not reaching my full potential! This is a cry for help!
March 27, 2012 at 5:04 am
Still waiting on Miss M… then maybe I can help increase your cat numbers. Do you want bunnies? Have lots of cottontails that I’m sure would love a home… that way Bruce would quit chasing them.
March 26, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Hum. Well, according to this, I actually don’t fall into the category, although I do come out high on the chicken scale. But still, not as many as you……….. My numbers will likely change, too, once we figure out who the boys are and then rehome them in the next few months.
March 27, 2012 at 5:05 am
Maybe that proves you aren’t horse crazy?
March 27, 2012 at 3:53 pm
I don’t have space, but if I did, I’d probably get more chickens.
March 28, 2012 at 4:02 am
I really don’t know what to think about the cause of a crazy chicken lady.
March 28, 2012 at 5:45 am
I don’t know the cause, but the solution is certainly more chickens.
March 26, 2012 at 6:08 pm
I knew this one lady who only had two cats…but she was still crazy as a loon, even though she never owned a horse… does that count? Besides, if you let yourself go, you’ll end up with let’s see, 100 cats to equal one horse…. and you have four horses…. that settles it. With up to four hundred cats on hand, you’ll have to feed them the horses….. problem solved….
Good post, excellent logic used… just like a cudgel…..
March 27, 2012 at 5:13 am
I think that could count, if she was truly meant to have horses but life had conspired to not let that happen. Then, even if her overall cat quotient was up to normal crazy cat lady standards, she would still qualify. Perhaps she would fall into the sub-crazy cat lady category. Although crazy as a loon implies she was authentically whacko… maybe it would be a differently-crazy cat lady category. It’s possible that does not stem from repressed horse crazy-ness. I think you’re not helping my theory… *scowling*
While at one time horse meat was included in cat and dog food, it is no longer socially acceptable nor politically correct to do so. Don’t ask me where I stand on this issue… big-gigantic-stinky-can-of-worms there. I’ll just mention that I am rarely socially acceptable or politically correct.
March 27, 2012 at 12:02 pm
Sorry ’bout the Theory; didn’t mean to skew the data…I was just curious, but I can see the can of worms from here, so I’ll just withdraw the question, ‘kay?
As for political or socially correct, I can’t say I’ve been accused of either with any regularity, and in fact, make it a habit never to go in that store, or wear those hats. They never fit….and on that issue, of pet food ingredients, I abstain, thanks…. good post, grrrrrrl….. I’m betting on the cats
March 28, 2012 at 4:11 am
After sleeping on it, and seeing Tikk’s comment about more chickens… I’m considering revising the Theory. Somehow, this time it must include chickens and loons. Maybe bunnies too, that would bring in some warm fuzzy support. Plus cats are nearly as prolific as bunnies, and equally good coyote bait. (I only know that from the previously shifting population of cats around here.) Hmmmm, ok going to take the additional input and put it back through the logic banks and see what spews forth.
Let’s see… horses divided by cats plus bunnies multiplied by loons carried to the chicken power… carry the one, mmmm wait no that doesn’t look right. Give me some time with this. After all, good ScienceTM can take a while.
March 28, 2012 at 6:13 am
I’ll wait… not patiently, but I’ll wait….you might want to break out a slide rule to augment your computer; your theory is growing new maths….and wouldn’t you divide by the loons, after raising them to the chicken power? That might also throw the end result off, by about 180 degrees, I’d say….
March 29, 2012 at 4:23 am
New Maths can be tricky though… many equations to work through. Many proofs need proved. And I forget order of operations sometimes, so you may be right there.
March 27, 2012 at 4:39 am
Wow! Fifteen horses! Lucky! I think you’re on to something here. My mom was borderline crazy cat lady. She adored cats and always owned at least one and usually several.
Now, maybe I inherited her tendencies only I don’t have to own a lot of cats because one-cat equals 10/1000′s of a horse. Plus I have always thought that horses were more like cats than dogs. They never want to appear eager. They’re curious like cats and they like cats. I don’t know if a horse would drink milk out of a saucer but perhaps it it had some carrot juice in it. HA!
Yep, you are definitely on to something here!
March 27, 2012 at 5:17 am
I’m not sure if it’s luck, or financial ruin…
I agree on your assessment that horses are more cat-like than dog-like.
And, of course since you have a horse, you would not be inclined to make up for the lack of a horse with cats as a replacement/substitute. Keep that in mind if anyone ever gives you grief about having a horse… just tell them it’s the horse or 100 cats!
May 21, 2012 at 1:33 pm
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